Doula Talk
I am a Doula. A Doula is a Trained Labour Companion, who helps parents experience a Shorter, Easier, and Healthier Birth, by providing intimate care, and by sharing knowledge about the birthing process.
- Some Birth and Maternity Stories are published below.
- To find out more about how reflexology is used to support Fertility, Maternity, Childbirth and Babes, see Maternity Reflexology.
To find out more about my role as a Doula contact me on
076 793 9081~yourhealingco@gmail.com
My First Birth Experience
Highlights:
Dad bursting into tears at the sight of his new born son.
Moms' exhausted bewilderment to see her baby placed onto her chest for the first time, and babys' sleepy calm on entering the world.
The Joy New Life Brings
Mom was induced using a topical gel in the late morning. She was a week over due.
I was called in the early stages of labour to help with pain relief. I used pressure techniques on her back, while she was lying on her side. This gave her great relief, while dad relaxed on the chair close by.
Through out the entire 9 hours of labour, dad remained close by. At times he was pacing, and fiddling nervously with his phone, and at other times he was stroking moms head and encouraging her to stay strong.
We constantly shifted mom into new positions, starting out on her side on the bed, then into the bath for what we expected to be a water birth. Mom could not get comfortable in the bath, complaining about lower back pain, so we moved her onto the birth ball.
Next she was onto the bed again. We kept encouraging her to sit up as she was collapsing onto her side, and sliding in and out of reality between what were now late stage labour contractions. At times mom roared like a lion, and at times she focused every ounce of energy on 'Pushing. Pushing" down as hard as she could. We held her hands, and let her know how well she was doing.
Twice she let out a hair raising scream as she lost herself in the pressure, but overall she listened intently between contractions to the midwifes instructions, and gave it her all when and where it was needed. Her commitment was so strong, and she worked with us till the very end.
Eventually we got her onto the birth chair, where, five powerful contractions later, baby appeared magically on her chest. I had been behind her supporting her on the chair, when all of a sudden a baby appeared! Mom was dumb founded. I was was in awe. Dad finally relaxed in a puddle of hugs, kisses and tears, at the sight of the beautiful, magical, tiny human being that he would forever more call his son.
I am so grateful to have shared this experience with them. Thank You.
Nyarai's Gentle Strength
Highlights:
Nyarai's gentle enduring strength.
Gogo Ethel Veras quiet comforting presence.
This experience really goes to show that one cannot predict how long a mom will labour for, or how quickly a baby will birth.
To begin with, all I knew was that Nyarai, a first time mom, had arrived at Genesis Clinic 40 minutes earlier. After doing an internal, her midwife, Marylin, had told me that Nyarai was 5 cm dilated going on 6cm.
Now, I never know what to expect when meeting a mom at such a progressed stage of labour. It is such a sacred space, and such a personal journey. My intention is never to interrupt a mom in labour, but to rather blend in and provide gentle support from the moment I enter her space.
This requires permission from the mom, who may not feel sure of things at this point, but who may feel vulnerable. It is my job to access whether she is receptive – it may be a sigh of relief, eye contact, or something she says.
I met Nyarai when she was lying on the bed getting a non stress test done. Her husband and her gogo, Ethel Vera, were sitting silently at the base of her bed when I came in.
Nyarai was visibly uncomfortable, and I could see that she was getting distressed with each contraction. She would tense up, squeeze her eyes tightly shut, and breath short irregular breaths.
With her next contraction I encouraged her to focus her eyes on an object in front of her, and to notice any detail there. This helps to externalize the pain. I also told her to relax her shoulders and to breath slow even breaths. I was happy when she said this was helpful.
In those first few moments I noticed that Nyarai had a quiet way about her. Later on I would come to describe this more as a gentle enduring strength.
First things first – to get Nyaria off the bed, and upright. This generally seems to encourage stronger yet more bearable contractions. I left to fetch the birth ball so that she might sit on it. I arrived back to find Nyarai at what I would call the height of her labour, in the shower, contractions now occurring back to back. It was only when Nyarai said that she felt pressure, and the need to push that I realized we were in business. I ran to fetch Marylin.
To cut a short story even shorter, we didn't have time to run the bath for her anticipated water birth, and I certainly didn't have time to properly acquaint myself with Nyarai or her expectations. But I am blessed to have simply been there with her. To help her up when her legs felt heavy, to chant words of encouragement, and to tell her how much I admired her strength. No small talk, no special techniques. Sometimes this is all there is time for, or simply all that is needed.
Nyarai birthed naturally on the bed on a birthing chair. She had dad on her left, and her gogo on her right. Baby Tanatswa came quickly, in 5 or so powerful contractions.
Well Done Nyarai, and thanks to all the angels for giving her a short, drug free labour and birth.
What we can learn from Nyarai:
Horizontal makes for painful labour with fewer contractions, while standing upright encourages stronger contractions closer together, yet less uncomfortable.
Mom instinctively knows best. Nyarai had gotten straight into the shower without any encouragement. The warm water surely helped soothe the strong contractions.
The birthing chair proved useful once again.
Every mom progresses at a different speed. Stay close always.
Keep dad close to mom. Nothing replaces the support of a loved one.
